Anonymous asked: YEEAAAAA BUDDY.. did you go to TUMBLRMARKETING(.)COM yet? FREE STUFF YEEAAAAAA
ew.
LOL haven’t taken a shit in days - It’s the worst! Might not want to go too over board with the laxatives though. When I worked at my old job a woman came in and shit all over the floor (IN A SKIRT) because she’d taken too many laxatives and couldn’t control her bowls. She laughed… Which I guess is good because I guess if you don’t laugh you cry.
Just be careful!
that’s awful :\ I know how many I need to take for my body and for when I haven’t gone in a while. I didn’t get ‘the shits’ it just makes me able to go and get EVERYTHING out without crazy lava-shit. I guess I’m lucky/know what my body needs to take.
Poor woman though, yikes.
two lbs over night. i haven’t taken a shit in days, and been trying to eat at least one small thing here and there. it’s adding up. is it weight? fat? waste? it’s disgusting. i want it OUT. I took 4 stool softeners with laxatives, and three maximum strength laxatives. as well as metamucil and have been drinking my neurotrim water.
i am getting fatter by the second. i am disgusting.
i think i am at or am creeping on my lowest weight by mere .lbs
it’s a surreal feeling because i don’t think my body has changed any. I haven’t been at my lowest since i got there, and was shipped straight to IP. That was February of 2008. I am older now. Much. I have not been back to inpatient, but have not once since recovered.
I am now nearing that weight again and aside from my potassium, my body is fine. My health is better than it was back then. I am holding down a 38-42 hour a week job. Very little people in my real life know I have an eating disorder, even though I am ‘quite underweight’ which I still don’t believe. The number is still too much.
Too much.
I am fine. Everyone sees me and thinks I am fine. No one would believe I was sick, though sometimes I am not sure why — only because I see the hurt and fear of death in my fiance’s eyes when he sees me. But I am fine because I am breathing, right?
I just have to keep taking my potassium and keep hydrated.
I ffear I will purge my dinner, but I will take a lot of potassium, and drink a lot of water.
Tomorrow I will likely work 8 hours. From 5am to 1pm. I think there will be a crazy memorial rush. That worries me.
I am trying to stop eating at work. It only makes me purge. Without fail.
My throat is becoming more irritated easily lately from all this disgusting purging.
And who can blame my body when you purge every single fucking day for five years straight? I give myself no breaks. I torture myself every day purging multiple times ago- everything I eat and yet I still get worried when I think something as wrong, as if I should be surprised.
It’s a miracle I am alive.
I starve every day. I purge everyday. I cannot eat full meals or even half meals and I still cannot keep it down.
This is not beautiful. It’s not perfect. It’s not going to get me there. It’s going to kill me.
Anonymous asked: You're amazing. Don't give up.
wow, thank you. i wish i felt so.
